and how do I react next time they don’t greet me?
I started working at this department 3 weeks ago. I went into the office I now work at, greeted 2 coworkers I’ve already worked with, they looked at me, said nothing, kept talking to themselves.
How am I supposed to interpret that?
To me this is disrespectful, maybe you disagree?
Then, as I was working, I saw both of them staring at me. What am I supposed to do when that happens? To me this signals hostility and passive aggressiveness.
I separate private life from personal one but even I know that the least you can do is to greet your coworkers, unless you want them to quit.
meh, don’t let them play mind games.
Bring in some donuts, keeps saying hi, don’t let it get to you. Let your happiness outshine their standoffishness
The worst thing you can do is reciprocate that just lets them win.
100% agree.
The best thing you can do is be nice to them and ignore passive aggression. Some ppl are not nice because they are scared and being defensive helps them, some are assholes, some are confused. Whatever it is, killing them with kindness actually works on a lot of people. The more you do it, the more people realize you are not faking your personality but this is just who you are, and they become more familiar with you.
If people don’t react to your greetings, just walk as if they don’t deserve your kindness, because it’s true. Maybe someday they will.
I don’t know about bringing donuts or the other reply about killing them with kindness. Both would be too much for someone like me.
Like, am I obligated to bring donuts now? Are we now caught up in a perpetual donut bringing cycle until it becomes the new normal and there’s donuts all the time?
And killing them with kindness is just overdoing it. I’d not feel comfortable.
Can we not just be courteous and decent to each other at this place of -work-? Don’t get me wrong. If you’re having a great day, tell me about it and share the joy. If you’re having a shitty day, I’ll be there to listen. But on the regular, let’s just not make each other miserable.
Someone bringing donuts to the office is making you miserable? It’s just a suggested peace offering, if someone wants to show their willing to integrate into a new group, its not required.
Saying hello to everyone when you see them the first time each day is not a excessive amount of social load. If they don’t respond back, that is fine. It shouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable to be acknowledged.
You’re saying things that don’t match up with what I wrote. Not sure why that is.
Saying hello to people shouldn’t make you miserable. Bringing donuts to the office shouldn’t make you miserable either, nobody is expecting you to do it, but if you want to do it, it shouldn’t make anyone feel bad either.
I’m saying not making each other miserable should be the norm. Being courteous and decent to each other should be the norm. Which includes greeting each other. No need to go overboard with donuts and the killing kind of kindness.