One time my dad and I were sitting in the car while my mom and wife were shopping (fabric store, not our jam). They kept calling us and we kept answering, pretending to be our voicemail messages.
I don’t know how we could keep calm while talking, because we were laughing our asses off in between calls, but it worked!
Amazing. I’ll try this sometime.
Was at the house of a relative of a friend. When the phone rang he asked me to answer it. Suddenly realizing I didn’t know the name of the home owner and lacking anything beyond “hello”, I simply said, “Massachusetts.”
This one’s pretty mild: I always answer my phone with “Yellow?”
Nobody has ever noticed or questioned me about it.
When my friends does this I’ll say “I didn’t know you had color ID!!!”
My entire family “Yello”s!
I answer my phone with it all the time and nobody’s ever commented.
Is this about my cube?
Reminds me of JD from Heathers.
“Ahoy 'hoy” like Mr. Burns in the Simpsons?
I answered my work phone with “Morgans Morgue; you kill’em, we chill’em” once. My coworker did not expect that and cracked up.
I’ve used the same line with different slogan a few times, but that’s the one that worked the best.
“Marty’s Morgue, you stab em’ we slab em.”
That’s how I’ve always said it. lol
“Thanks for calling in to 102.5! You’re on the air! What is your embarrassing poop story?”
Moshi Moshi
Japanese intensifies
Do it in Germany! “Muschi” means “pussy”.
City Morgue, spare parts division.
“City Morge. You stab 'em, we bag 'em.”
“Can I give you a hand?”
Guy I was working with would answer his phone with “Hi, can I speak to *person who was calling* please?”
I think I have the wrong number
One of my dad’s favourites, which I use, as deep as possible “Lunch room, this is Susan”. Works great when it’s a telemarketer from an overseas, outsourced call centre…
I sometimes answer with “Come in please” when I know who’s calling. Never stops irritating people lol.
City morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
Or you slice 'em, we ice (or dice, if you want gruesome) 'em
Joe’s pool hall, 8 ball speaking
Sam’s sanitarium, what nut do you want?
Town grocery, you want the fruit or the vegetable?
Bill’s grill, where our meat fits your buns, how can we serve?
Bill’s grill, where we shove our greasy meat in your mouth, how can we serve?
I used to have a whole list of these things I picked up over the years, but being able to ignore calls without having to hear them ring has made me forget a lot more
“Joe’s Bait, Tackle, and Mortuary Service - You Stab ‘Em We Slab ‘Em”
“Big Paul’s Pool Hall, 8-ball speaking, shoot!”
That’s the version I’ve always used.
I’ve heard the morgue one before, but I heard it as, “You stab 'em, we bag 'em!”
My dad’s one was always “You kill 'em, we chill 'em”
I use jak sie masz. The phrase from Borat which apparently also means how are you in polish.
“You find more, Dziękuję.”
“You’re on the air. What’s your beef?”