It was a long journey that is probably not so interesting. If you want a somewhat different approach than many popular mediation apps (which I’m sure all have their audience and place) try the „waking up“ app by Sam Harris. I find it to be much more down to earth and focused on introspection and (meta) perception. The difference becomes more obvious in the introduction series after a few days and maybe not right in the beginning. If you really can’t afford the price, make sure to check out their „no questions asked“ stipend options that let you select a lower price to pay (or nothing).
To all of you guys who enjoy playing pretend, I want to suggest to try playing improv theater. There are often beginner courses and its a kind of slightly guided cooperative make believe. My personal recommendation: try long form Impro and not just short form (which I learned to be the goofier of the two). For me it was very freeing to find an outlet for this stuff where it’s suddenly even cool.