Arbor Day! Trees ftw!

Removed by mod

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

Boy am I ugly. I’m so ugly that when I was born the doctor slapped my mother.

My mother, she wouldn’t breastfeed me, she said she liked me as a friend.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

Then later as I was growing up, when I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

Boy I was an ugly kid. I had plenty of pimples, one day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

I met the surgeon general, he gave me a cigarette.

Then I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

I told my doctor I want to get a vasectomy. He told me that with a face like mine, I don’t need one.

I told my doctor, “Every day I wake up, I look in the mirror, I want to throw up. What’s wrong with me?” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.

I tell ya, I know I’m ugly. My proctologist stuck his finger in my mouth.

Office Depot. They are still using IBM machines from the 90s with receipt printers the size of a shoebox.

The onion should do a satire version of this article…

#1) BizzBop: a can of soda

#2) shaplopped: sitting down in your chair too hard

#3) smooly-D: having difficulty keeping aim at the urinal.

#4) snorkeling: to have such abundance that you are euphemistically ‘swimming’ in something.

Last night I shaplopped, was snorkeling in bizzbop so hard that my smooly-D was straight killing it.

What else y’all got?

Is that what it takes to get two different desktop orientations using Linux?

I couldn’t resist

You could use Windows 11 from Microsoft, it can do both landscape and portrait.

I had a job that bought me one of these about 15 years ago, never used it

Modern American liberalism is democratic socialism and that’s what it has meant since FDR…

"In the United States, liberalism is associated with the welfare-state policies of the New Deal programme of the Democratic administration of Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt, whereas in Europe it is more commonly associated with a commitment to limited governmentand laissez-faire economic policies."Consequently, the ideas of individualism and laissez-faire economics previously associated with classical liberalism are key components of modern American conservatism and movement conservatism, and became the basis for the emerging school of modern American libertarian thought.

This doesn’t mean that liberalism = conservatism.

This is a really insightful argument you have proposed. am going to have to give it a lot of thought because it’s so sophisticated and well thought out/communicated. You should be proud of yourself.

That study, which is admittedly a bit above my pay grade, says that more study is needed. It doesn’t say that diabetes has been cured, which is the headline that media outlets have chosen.

My only point was that if diabetes was actually cured, everyone would know about it, not just you and me.

Maybe you should try putting a stick in your ass

Careful, your ad hominem is showing

How would reading Cell Discovery increase my chances of hearing about a cure to one of the world’s most pervasive afflictions on some obscure Lemmy post, and more puzzling, how would reading Cell Discovery make it more likely that some wild medical claim with far reaching implications would both be true and also absent from every other news source? What kind of magic does this Cell Discovery have?

You just said that liberals are hardcore capitalists despite the fact that liberals are the ones pushing for a hybrid socialist democracy where key industries are socialized so that rampant corruption, which is an effect of the invisible hand, can be avoided. You go on to say that liberal means conservative.

Phrases like ‘we are living in a post truth world’ are a self fulfilling prophecy for those who use that phrase… for the rest of us you just sound like a far-right provocateur.

It appears you are either very confused or you are a dishonest interlocutor and are completely full of shit.

The headline isn’t ’early stage clinical trial starts the multi-decade process of developing a cure for diabetes’… the headline reads ‘diabetes has been cured’

Alls I’m saying is that if the headline as written were true, we would be hearing it from all news sources at once, not just some single post on a somewhat obscure news aggregator.

If this were true, I wouldn’t be finding out about it on Lemmy

What do you think is more likely, that telepathy is real or that it’s just your schizophrenia talking?