I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don’t hate me.

I’m just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people’s pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don’t before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I’ve never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I’d love some help with all of this.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
    21·
    1 year ago

    Trans woman here. Your pronouns are he/him unless you’d rather be addressed with other ones. There’s multiple ways to handle exchanging them but one of the popular strategies is look at how a person is presenting, how gendered their name is, etc and if it seems pretty strongly leaning one way you can guess otherwise give your pronouns and they give theirs in return. At least that’s what I do.

    • Narrrz@kbin.social
      3·
      1 year ago

      I’m not the op, but like them im a cishet male. is it useful (to the movement, to non cishet, to LGBTQ+ people in general) to adopt pronouns other than what would be expected, perhaps to normalise them in much the same way that “partner” has been?

      or would that generally be regarded as, well, something akin to cultural appropriation? or as malicious adoption, like “i identify as an attack helicopter”?

      • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        4·
        1 year ago

        or would that generally be regarded as, well, something akin to cultural appropriation? or as malicious adoption, like “i identify as an attack helicopter”?

        It’s none of those things.

        It’s more akin to pretending your name is Matt even though your name is Tom. You’re not going to offend anyone, and if it turns out that Matt feels right for you, then go for it, you’re Matt now. But if you’re not Matt, and don’t feel like Matt, then calling yourself Matt won’t achieve much for you or anyone else.

      • fubo@lemmy.world
        2·
        1 year ago

        It’s not appropriation, but if you don’t want to be called “xe/xem” then for crap’s sake don’t ask people to!

        • Narrrz@kbin.social
          1·
          1 year ago

          well, I mean, it’s no skin off my neck either way. I have no problem with being he/him, but I certainly wouldn’t be offended be xe/xem (or for that matter she/her 😅 which was a mistake at least one person made during the mask mandate, when my beard wasn’t so visible)

          I’d just like to do what I can to make life easier for those who are faced with more everyday difficulties than I am, especially when it costs me so little.