I did this before cellphone and any sort of digital maps. It was hell. I memorized my city, that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was the people who didn’t have their houses properly labeled with their address. Bonus points if they left their porch light off, as well.
“Why is my pizza cold?”
“Because I had to use complex mathematics to derive your house number among all of the unnumbered houses on your street.”
”Because I had to use complex mathematics to derive your house number among all of the unnumbered houses on your street."
Wouldn’t even be able to do that in the neighborhood I grew up in. They numbered the houses in the order they were built/the lots were purchased and that wasn’t often next to each other lol. So 64, 67, 88, 90 are next to each other for instance.
What kind of sick fuck…
Wasn’t on any sort of grid pattern either. The roads just kinda meandered around willy nilly and would sometimes loop back on itself with random “bridge” connecting roads which I know isn’t extremely uncommon but definitely added to the difficulty of navigation.
Ahh yes, you grew up in a west coast subdivision. I am assuming either a late 60s to early 80s split level or a slightly more upscale true two story neighborhood, where every house is one of either two models, or a mirror image of those models to create the illusion of variation.
It is always funny, the first time you go to a friend’s house and use the bathroom, their mom will offer to show you, but you would just be like, “I know where it is.”
I delivered pizza for a few years in my early years, and poorly lit addresses were the absolute worst. I was delivering in the pre-smartphone but post mapquest era, and we had a computer in the shop with a touch screen (which was crazy at the time) map on it so you could figure out where we were going. But God forbid you ended up on a one way street looking for an address that was poorly labeled or unlit and you got somebody behind you laying on their horn… At some point I bought a 1000 candle spotlight that I used at night, and that got me pulled over several times because people would call the police about “a slow driving car shining a spotlight out of its window”… Like… For fucks sake. I’m just trying to deliver some pizza.
With that said, while working I smoked a bunch of weed, listened to a bunch of good music, and generally got tipped well so… It was a good time.
In the before times, I was uniquely blessed with the ability to decipher these paper maps. I was seen as a god among men.
Alas, with the advent of GPS and navigation I am but a mere relic of days gone by, regaling my days of glory to whomever should have the ears to listen.
Ohhh wise one, tell us one of your many tales.
In my younger years my city used to publish a comprehensive road map that you could navigate by reading the road name index, figuring out its location on a greater city map grid, then finding its detailed map on a page listed on that grid. I literally used to help my parents navigate unknown roads like a Garmin before Garmin was even a thing. Every 2 years I would pick up the new edition of the map because the old one was getting ratty and out of date.
Good times.
Why is Nicolas Maduro working at an old time Domino’s Pizza franchise?
